Tuesday, July 26, 2011

Strug up in transition

First day off in nine days straight. I work again tomorrow, too. It's been a busy few weeks, but I'm glad for the distractions and when its in my pockets I'll be very glad for the money. 

Had some interviews for positions with the California jobs and I'm most looking forward to one in which I would be doing management for a food shelf. Basically it seems like it would all begin to fall on me - the 30-40 volunteers to be coordinated, the management of food and supervision of the 'shopping days". Talking to the woman who's doing it now, I felt like it would be right up my alley and use a lot of my strengths. She also told me about how she bikes most of the way to work every day, and takes the train the rest, which sounds awesome. It's good to know I wouldn't for sure need a car, because even though I'm getting some money saved, I don't exactly want to buy something that big when I will be on such a small fixed income for the next year. The other job is doing case management for people experiencing homelessness and trying to get into housing. The people I interviewed with sounded really great, and the whole situation seemed like it would be good for me. 

Got my plane ticket purchased, hotel rented for the night before, and less than a month in the cites before I leave! When I'm centered on me and feeling happy and strong,  I am so excited and ready for it. Of course there are moments of utter terror, but I guess I would be surprised no matter what my emotional state if I was not terrified to move across the country on my own. 

As far as my emotional state goes, I mostly feel out of balance. At least once or twice a day I feel extremely good, centered and focused. I am happy and sure everything is working out as it should. Some days are harder than others, some days are very sad still, some days I am so happy and free and excited. 

Today I went out to lunch with one of my old writing professors with HECUA. We talked about my life and writing. As far as my life goes as I listed off the issues that have shows up in my life - from car accidents and devastating break ups to simple issues like Metro Transit overdrawing my account by $60 the other day - he finally just sighed and said "Yeah, it 'sounds like you need to shake up your life and bit. Moving to a new part of the country will be good for you." 

We also talked about my writing, and how am I so excited to have time to get back to working on the novel and the writing. We talked about grants and residencies he has received and which I qualify for once I get back into my work. It made me realize a lot about what the next few years and what I decide to or to not put my energy into will define me and what I end up doing. I need to make certain that I don't let the novel fall to the wayside. I need to make certain I get back to Northern Ireland, but before that make the time to really work out more of what I'm doing with this thing I've been "working" on for the last 6 years. So that's the next thing on the summer to-do list. Or maybe the to-do list after arriving to LA... once I have a schedule and daily routine... That feels like I'm putting it off, which I've done enough of, though. 

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